Comments on: Are You a Victim of Verbal Abuse? http://www.verbalabusehealing.com/2007/11/21/hello-world/ Words Matter Tue, 13 Apr 2010 18:25:58 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0.1 By: Sue http://www.verbalabusehealing.com/2007/11/21/hello-world/comment-page-1/#comment-4001 Sue Tue, 13 Apr 2010 18:25:58 +0000 http://www.verbalabusehealing.com/?p=1#comment-4001 I am 51 years old, I have been trying so hard to get myself and 2 children, out of this situation. God will change your situation. I know that this is not healthy when any one tears you down. God will built your character and self-esteem. I have 2 children in this abusiveness. In Jesus name both kids know the Lord for themselves. I know God has change this person, but still in the process. Yes, you can tell this person stop, and he will. But I say Jesus. Praise the Lord! I am 51 years old, I have been trying so hard to get myself and 2 children, out of this situation. God will change your situation. I know that this is not healthy when any one tears you down. God will built your character and self-esteem. I have 2 children in this abusiveness. In Jesus name both kids know the Lord for themselves. I know God has change this person, but still in the process. Yes, you can tell this person stop, and he will. But I say Jesus. Praise the Lord!

]]> By: Lohe http://www.verbalabusehealing.com/2007/11/21/hello-world/comment-page-1/#comment-3762 Lohe Sun, 07 Mar 2010 10:08:34 +0000 http://www.verbalabusehealing.com/?p=1#comment-3762 Thank you so much for your words. Now, I do have a question. How do you deal with an abuser that is trying to make you believe that the one that is the abuser is you (in this case me)because in the arguments I am defending myself when he is pouring his poison on me? That's what my husband does. He says that the one being cruel and evil is me. But it is not like that, I am just defending myself from what he says. I have even said stop, and that does nothing to him. He keeps calling me names, and telling me really hurtful things. Like I am worse than his ex-wife, etc. Any comments? Thank you so much for your words. Now, I do have a question. How do you deal with an abuser that is trying to make you believe that the one that is the abuser is you (in this case me)because in the arguments I am defending myself when he is pouring his poison on me? That’s what my husband does. He says that the one being cruel and evil is me. But it is not like that, I am just defending myself from what he says. I have even said stop, and that does nothing to him. He keeps calling me names, and telling me really hurtful things. Like I am worse than his ex-wife, etc. Any comments?

]]> By: RonNe http://www.verbalabusehealing.com/2007/11/21/hello-world/comment-page-1/#comment-3676 RonNe Sat, 27 Feb 2010 18:52:14 +0000 http://www.verbalabusehealing.com/?p=1#comment-3676 I was verbally abused by my half sister..I never knew what was going on until I gave my life to Christ.. my eyes were open to see what she was doing..The scary thing about verbal abuse is the "crazy-making" to me..The abuser makes u feel like ur are just sensitive or they disguise it as a joke..Christ gave me the strength to stand up to her..we I exposed her it wasn't nice at all. She denied, played the victim and then verbally assault me horribly..I just remained calm and told her the Truth..I'm still healing and with God's grace I'm walking in the Truth of what He says about me..Verbal abuse is ugly,soooo ugly and evil..I pray for people who are victims..because I was victim I becoming an abuser for a while before I found Christ..God saved me:) I was verbally abused by my half sister..I never knew what was going on until I gave my life to Christ.. my eyes were open to see what she was doing..The scary thing about verbal abuse is the “crazy-making” to me..The abuser makes u feel like ur are just sensitive or they disguise it as a joke..Christ gave me the strength to stand up to her..we I exposed her it wasn’t nice at all. She denied, played the victim and then verbally assault me horribly..I just remained calm and told her the Truth..I’m still healing and with God’s grace I’m walking in the Truth of what He says about me..Verbal abuse is ugly,soooo ugly and evil..I pray for people who are victims..because I was victim I becoming an abuser for a while before I found Christ..God saved me:)

]]> By: Esther http://www.verbalabusehealing.com/2007/11/21/hello-world/comment-page-1/#comment-2912 Esther Tue, 13 Oct 2009 02:18:52 +0000 http://www.verbalabusehealing.com/?p=1#comment-2912 I have been seperated for 15 months from a 26yr marriage of verbal and emotional abuse, I have 3 children that have suffered their own abuse, what a shame I did not leave in time for them to see what a normal life could be but I know God protected us. However the pain and anger is present in our life, and now we trying to move on after relocating to a new home and state. After reading Patricia Evans book I relized that we were being abused and knew I had to do something, and now I am very glad I did because I am a child of God, I am a good person and not who I was defined to be. Thank you for giving us a chance to tell our story. I have been seperated for 15 months from a 26yr marriage of verbal and emotional abuse, I have 3 children that have suffered their own abuse, what a shame I did not leave in time for them to see what a normal life could be but I know God protected us. However the pain and anger is present in our life, and now we trying to move on after relocating to a new home and state. After reading Patricia Evans book I relized that we were being abused and knew I had to do something, and now I am very glad I did because I am a child of God, I am a good person and not who I was defined to be. Thank you for giving us a chance to tell our story.

]]> By: Mike Hall http://www.verbalabusehealing.com/2007/11/21/hello-world/comment-page-1/#comment-2261 Mike Hall Thu, 06 Aug 2009 18:55:06 +0000 http://www.verbalabusehealing.com/?p=1#comment-2261 Greetings from Denver! Thought you might appreciate this poem written about verbal abuse in childhood. Have a great day! Mike Hall The Broken Child By Mike Hall Your voice was like thunder that rocked my room and my world. It shook my soul and crushed my spirit. Where it came from doesn’t matter. You were wrong… the first time and the last. There are no excuses and I am not to blame. I will not accept that it was just your way of letting off steam. Dad, you were a volcano erupting near my heart. It wasn’t smoke and ash that I feared, it was the suffocating thought that tortured my brain… the thought that there was nothing, nothing in the world that I could do, to make you love the broken child that was too scared to speak and too hurt to cry. Greetings from Denver!

Thought you might appreciate this poem written about verbal abuse in childhood.

Have a great day!

Mike Hall

The Broken Child
By Mike Hall

Your voice was like thunder
that rocked my room and my world.
It shook my soul and crushed my spirit.
Where it came from doesn’t matter.
You were wrong…
the first time
and the last.
There are no excuses
and I am not to blame.
I will not accept that it was
just your way of letting off steam.
Dad, you were a volcano
erupting near my heart.
It wasn’t smoke and ash
that I feared,
it was the suffocating thought
that tortured my brain…
the thought that there was nothing,
nothing in the world
that I could do,
to make you love the broken child
that was too scared to speak
and too hurt to cry.

]]> By: Brenda http://www.verbalabusehealing.com/2007/11/21/hello-world/comment-page-1/#comment-60 Brenda Sun, 15 Feb 2009 16:52:41 +0000 http://www.verbalabusehealing.com/?p=1#comment-60 Thank you so much for writing this article. I'm so inspired by the advice given. I was only in the abusive situation for 6 months, but it felt like i was in the sitation for ever. This person violated me more ways than i'm willing to say and I kept going back for more because some how, i thought i was doing something to cause his abusive behavior. I was confiding in my friends but they kept making excuses for him and telling me that i should give it time because it takes time to make a relationship work. But deep down in side, i knew it was not me. I've never been in an absuive relationship, therefore, i did not no the signes. I'm a beliver that everything happens for a reason. Hinsight is 20/20 and you can't see certain things when your are caught up with the abuser. I recived my Ah ha moment. I beleive i was suppose to meet this person in order to learn certain things about myself. My lesson from this abusive situation (can't call it a realtionship)is to love myself no matter what the abuser is telling you. I thank god for this site, because their are so many women out here who is suffering in silence. Thank you so much for writing this article. I’m so inspired by the advice given. I was only in the abusive situation for 6 months, but it felt like i was in the sitation for ever. This person violated me more ways than i’m willing to say and I kept going back for more because some how, i thought i was doing something to cause his abusive behavior. I was confiding in my friends but they kept making excuses for him and telling me that i should give it time because it takes time to make a relationship work. But deep down in side, i knew it was not me. I’ve never been in an absuive relationship, therefore, i did not no the signes. I’m a beliver that everything happens for a reason. Hinsight is 20/20 and you can’t see certain things when your are caught up with the abuser. I recived my Ah ha moment. I beleive i was suppose to meet this person in order to learn certain things about myself. My lesson from this abusive situation (can’t call it a realtionship)is to love myself no matter what the abuser is telling you. I thank god for this site, because their are so many women out here who is suffering in silence.

]]> By: janet http://www.verbalabusehealing.com/2007/11/21/hello-world/comment-page-1/#comment-58 janet Mon, 09 Feb 2009 05:08:26 +0000 http://www.verbalabusehealing.com/?p=1#comment-58 Thanks for writing this article. It really hits home for me. I've been seperated from my husband for 4 months. I endured his verbal abuse for 20 years. Our kids have suffered along with me. I just wanted it to stop and finally convinced him to leave. My husband is in ministry, is outgoing and well liked. But at home his anger ruled us all. It's been tough because recently i've begun to miss him and it's lonely at times without him. But the new found peace I have in my home is what keeps me going. I'm trying to wait on the Lord to guide everything I do now. If I were allowed to share one tidbit of advise it would be to slow down,listen and wait on the Lord. I've gotten myself into so much trouble making decisions without Him. Thanks for writing this article. It really hits home for me. I’ve been seperated from my husband for 4 months. I endured his verbal abuse for 20 years. Our kids have suffered along with me. I just wanted it to stop and finally convinced him to leave. My husband is in ministry, is outgoing and well liked. But at home his anger ruled us all. It’s been tough because recently i’ve begun to miss him and it’s lonely at times without him. But the new found peace I have in my home is what keeps me going. I’m trying to wait on the Lord to guide everything I do now. If I were allowed to share one tidbit of advise it would be to slow down,listen and wait on the Lord. I’ve gotten myself into so much trouble making decisions without Him.

]]> By: Renee http://www.verbalabusehealing.com/2007/11/21/hello-world/comment-page-1/#comment-56 Renee Mon, 02 Feb 2009 20:40:53 +0000 http://www.verbalabusehealing.com/?p=1#comment-56 I am a verbally abused victim. I have been married for 21 years and have a daugher 19 and son 17. I am 45 and I am finally realizing I have been verbally abused. My daughter, son and I are going through christian counseling and I am in the process of leaving. But I am somewhat scared because we have a home together and I want to sale the house so I can get another home by myself. I am going to tell him with his parents and my pastor present so it will be some accountability. He thinks alot of his mom. My husband has caused anger in my kids, and I have been a wife who has lived a closed door life for years. The screams, threats and control sometimes leaves me in a room crying for a long time. My husband does not even take care of his responsibilities in the home like he suppose to and I have been hiding that and making him look good in front of others for 21 years. I have been his help mate and he has never seen it. I needed to be reassured that I am doing the right thing. I can sometimes remember the horrible way he has treated me and I thought I was all alone. I needed to hear that you overcame by the blood of the lamb and the word of your testimony. Rev 12:11. I have had many medical problems, thyroid problems, bells palsy, diagnosed with a muscle disease called polymyositis and recently was put on blood pressure medicine. My friend who is a physician assistant said it is stress. Well I know this is long but thanks for reading. I am a verbally abused victim. I have been married for 21 years and have a daugher 19 and son 17. I am 45 and I am finally realizing I have been verbally abused. My daughter, son and I are going through christian counseling and I am in the process of leaving. But I am somewhat scared because we have a home together and I want to sale the house so I can get another home by myself. I am going to tell him with his parents and my pastor present so it will be some accountability. He thinks alot of his mom. My husband has caused anger in my kids, and I have been a wife who has lived a closed door life for years. The screams, threats and control sometimes leaves me in a room crying for a long time. My husband does not even take care of his responsibilities in the home like he suppose to and I have been hiding that and making him look good in front of others for 21 years. I have been his help mate and he has never seen it. I needed to be reassured that I am doing the right thing. I can sometimes remember the horrible way he has treated me and I thought I was all alone. I needed to hear that you overcame by the blood of the lamb and the word of your testimony. Rev 12:11. I have had many medical problems, thyroid problems, bells palsy, diagnosed with a muscle disease called polymyositis and recently was put on blood pressure medicine. My friend who is a physician assistant said it is stress. Well I know this is long but thanks for reading.

]]> By: Confused http://www.verbalabusehealing.com/2007/11/21/hello-world/comment-page-1/#comment-54 Confused Sat, 31 Jan 2009 11:14:57 +0000 http://www.verbalabusehealing.com/?p=1#comment-54 Hi, I am a victim of chronic verbal abuse. I am a man. I attempted suicide 3 days ago.In the worst moments of that I day,I somehow pulled myself to read your article among others. I am still badly effected and have bought Pat Evans book for further knowledge. I am in a relationship for over a year. I am not married yet. I did many things, in the name of love to cope with verbal abuse and extreme name calling, often believing its my fault and consequently apologizing. In the initial stages, I could bear it but it became worse. I started self harming, often crying and slapping myself and beating myself up in order to relieve myself of the emotional pain. I was then accused to be a psycho for beating myself up. The abuse did not stop. I have been threatened on being dumped all the time. I lost myself now. I hope my story would help others to realise if they go thru the same. I believe, no matter what, if you love someone, profanity and verbal abuse should never happen. I am looking to rebuild myself again, as I need to find the strength to move forward positively. Hi,
I am a victim of chronic verbal abuse. I am a man. I attempted suicide 3 days ago.In the worst moments of that I day,I somehow pulled myself to read your article among others. I am still badly effected and have bought Pat Evans book for further knowledge. I am in a relationship for over a year. I am not married yet. I did many things, in the name of love to cope with verbal abuse and extreme name calling, often believing its my fault and consequently apologizing. In the initial stages, I could bear it but it became worse. I started self harming, often crying and slapping myself and beating myself up in order to relieve myself of the emotional pain. I was then accused to be a psycho for beating myself up. The abuse did not stop. I have been threatened on being dumped all the time. I lost myself now. I hope my story would help others to realise if they go thru the same. I believe, no matter what, if you love someone, profanity and verbal abuse should never happen. I am looking to rebuild myself again, as I need to find the strength to move forward positively.

]]> By: Fel http://www.verbalabusehealing.com/2007/11/21/hello-world/comment-page-1/#comment-51 Fel Sun, 07 Dec 2008 02:30:39 +0000 http://www.verbalabusehealing.com/?p=1#comment-51 I was on the verge of a nervous breakdown trying to survive my relationship with a man dependant on drugs and alcohol. The only thing that saved me was turning back to God. If i had truly been living by His Word i would not be in the mess i am in. But i am praying every day for the strength I need to survive until the end of our lease. I also pray that he too will turn to God, but i can't do more than that. It is so bad now that i find i start the fights to get it over and done with. He is now telling me that I am abusive and I am standing to question if he is right. I feel like I am living with someone posessed by satan and that the more i stand up for myself and turn to God the more he fights back. I would appreciate your prayers. I was on the verge of a nervous breakdown trying to survive my relationship with a man dependant on drugs and alcohol. The only thing that saved me was turning back to God. If i had truly been living by His Word i would not be in the mess i am in. But i am praying every day for the strength I need to survive until the end of our lease. I also pray that he too will turn to God, but i can’t do more than that. It is so bad now that i find i start the fights to get it over and done with. He is now telling me that I am abusive and I am standing to question if he is right. I feel like I am living with someone posessed by satan and that the more i stand up for myself and turn to God the more he fights back. I would appreciate your prayers.

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